Some moments call for fine wine- a great cheese plate, a celebratory meal, any time you’re wearing shoes that cost more than your smartphone. And that’s good. But let’s be honest- there are other times- more frequent times- that call just as strongly for wine that’s cheap, but still drinkable. These moments, which are often accompanied by sweatpants, impromptu barbecues and/or sappy Lifetime movies, are just as important, and far more treacherous. Anybody can go to their local wine store and let a sommelier tell you which wine to drop $40 retail on and not be disappointed, but finding something in the sub-$10 a bottle range that you actually like- that takes talent. Well friends, my dear friend Trader Joe has come through yet again with their new line of boxed wine. Yes, I said boxed wine- don’t judge. If it was good enough for your eccentric Aunt Millie, it’s good enough for you.
I’ll be perfectly upfront here: this Shiraz-in-a-box is not going to win any fancy awards from people sophisticated enough to actually spit something out during a tasting. It probably won’t ever be featured on Vine Talk, the hypnotically dull PBS wine talk show that Stanley Tucci hosts (if you haven’t seen this, you are missing out). But it’s not bad. It is the equivalent of 4 bottles of Charles-Shaw-level wine for only $10 neatly contained in a vacuum-sealed box that magically keeps said wine fresh for up to 45 days. 45 days people! If you, like me, have ever cried a little while pouring out the remnants of a bottle that turned before you could finish it (I’ll drink cheap wine, but I won’t drink vinegar, and I’m not actually as much of a lush as I make myself sound on this blog), this is the everyday answer to all of your problems.
I know, it’s not like you needed another excuses to go to Trader Joes, but go ahead and throw this into your cart (you know, that red thing you drag around the impossibly skinny aisles and fill with delicious snacks like Thai Yum Cashews, TJ-branded Pirate booty and fruit leather with extra fiber) It’s the perfect porch-pounder, it’s totally affordable, and it will last as long as you need it to. And seriously, who doesn’t need a drink after trying to get in and out of a Trader Joes parking lot? Maybe you can even have a glass while you finally check out Vine Talk- it will increase the wonder and awe factor by at least two-fold.